Adele, Jane Austen and a duvet day

1. Two days to go until the end of my experiment. Not that I haven’t enjoyed this year but I’m ready for a new challenge.

2. Adele. Even though I’m not sure it’s the right choice when I’m being ravaged by hormones.

3. Diana Ross is doing well. She’s hating the cone of shame but her wound is healing up and she’s bearing up as well as she can.

4. Jane Austen and her world, which at times really feels like an excellent proposition for a woman.

5. A duvet day. I confess I barely left the bedroom today. Hormones were quite savage and I spent the morning crying and the afternoon nursing a headache trying to soothe myself with white rice.

The Holiday Calendar, biscuits and integrity

1. Not having a commute when you hate the world and everyone in it because you didn’t sleep properly the night before and you know that travelling on public transport and actually having to engage with strangers would only make matters worse.

2. The Holiday Calendar on Netflix. Cute, modern and extremely cheesy with just the right amount of magic.

3. An evening on my own. The husband is at his Christmas do and I pigged out with salad and popcorn. I was also very sensibile and did some chores. Because I’m rock’n’roll like that.

4. Fortnum & Mason Lemon Curd Biscuits. They are as good as they sound if not better and I’m desperate for a wagonload.

5. Integrity. When your thoughts and your behaviour are in harmony. But why is it so difficult? John Stuart Mill said: Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing. If I think the industry I’m in is careening down a road that flirts with censorship and authoritarianism, should I stay silent?

Comfortable underwear, a difficult book and prawn curry

1. Thick soft hand-knitted socks.

2. An intense and difficult book to go back to sleep if you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall asleep again.

3. Comfortable underwear and tights that don’t betray you by slowly rolling down. Whenever pieces of clothing suddenly decide not to play ball I always take it as a personal affront.

4. Colin sleeping in the cat house the husband built for him. Look at him how comfortable and cute he is. Right now he’s curled up against mamma in her box. By the way I bumped into kitten daddy this morning. He looks slightly injured with a limp paw but otherwise fighting fit. I didn’t demand child support. It felt rude.

5. An excellent prawn curry. I can’t eat meat at the moment apart from chicken. It’s not ideological. Fish is fine. I could live on pasta.

A club sandwich, a book and a Sunday of self-love

1. A Sunday of self-love, indulgence, pampering and yes, work too. I even put nail polish on, which is almost unheard of.

2. A classic club sandwich at Balans Cafè.

3. The cinema in general. I don’t understand how my husband doesn’t like going to the cinema. I keep telling him he got me to marry him under false pretences. We used to go all the time when we were dating or even going out as friends. And now? Nada. I went to see the latest Disney on tonight without him and unfortunately it wasn’t very good.

4. Mary Poppins Returns. However, the trailer for Mary Poppins was epic and even more epic is the fact that the show is coming back to the West End. Take my money!

5. Domenico Starnone’s Ties. I’ve had it in my to be read pile for about a year now. It was about time. I have a feeling it’s going to be as heartbreaking as Elena Ferrante’s The Days of the Abandonment.

A steak sandwich, family and reading in the morning

1. Homemade steak sandwich. I was in savasana dreaming of a steak sandwich. So after yoga I bought a ciabatta, two steaks, tomatoes and salad. I made the dressing with whole grain mustard. It was a dream. It wouldn’t have been out of place in a restaurant in central London if I may day so myself.

2. Having it out. I don’t know if something broken between two people can be repaired but at least whatever hurt she caused me is now out in the open. I don’t hold grudges but sometimes enough is enough and I need to remove myself from some people.

3. Staying inside when it’s pouring down outside knowing that I’m warm and safe, and that Stranger Things is only a tv show.

4. Family. Because in the end it’s the only thing that will protect me. And it might be broken and it might not be perfect but I’m grateful for the family I have.

5. Reading in the morning when the house is quiet and everyone is asleep.

Pulia, a crazy submission and the body I was given

I was very skittish today. My attention was all over the place. What I need is a super fast, super compelling book tonight to wheel away my Friday night.

1. Pulia. It was National Pasta Day yesterday but because I’m always the contrarian I decided to have pasta today. Orecchiette Croccanti (tomato, aubergine, breadcrumbs and caciocavallo cheese) at Pulia, an Italian restaurant in London Bridge.

2. Balance. In yoga sometimes balance is there. Sometimes it isn’t. Today it wasn’t but it kind of made me humble. Sometimes the ego needs to be kept in check.

3. When my cat looks at me and I fall in love with her all over again every time.

4. One of the craziest submissions I ever received. Gross, crass, inappropriate, overfriendly and generally icky. I laughed so hard I almost didn’t do any work for the rest of the afternoon I was laughing so hard. The people I shared it with, anonymously obviously, told me they were sorry for me, for being subjected to something like that. I replied that they shouldn’t be sorry because it’s the funniest thing that’s happened to me in a long time. And I certainly don’t feel like the victim of a great wrong. Au contraire, it was funny and I was grateful for the laugh. I wasn’t offended, or traumatized, or anything like that. I was tickled like crazy.

5. I’m grateful for my body. With all its flaws and imperfections, and idiosyncrasies. Because in spite of all of that, it still carries me around and allows me to practise yoga and to enjoy it. It’s not perfect but it’s pretty strong. And it’s improving every day.

 

Indian summer, coriander and my thighs

1. Indian summer. A nicer way to ease into winter. London is spectacular at the moment. Warm and sunny and lovely.

2. The combination of smoked salmon and avocado. Particularly on seedy sourdough.

3. Coriander all the things. The smell of it used to make me gag. A salad would be all but ruined by a single leaf. How things have changed.

4. My thighs. They are certainly not pretty but they are strong and they carry me where I want to go and make me practise yoga any time I like.

5. I’m listening to Suicide Club and I have the feeling it’s going to be very good.

Childhood pictures, autumn and a prawn stir fry

Today I’ve learned that I should leave the house at least once a day if I don’t want to go crazy. I didn’t and now I’m going crazy. So restless

1. When I’m busy. I actually like it because I feel I’m actually accomplishing something. I’m absolutely against the glorification of busy. You know the one, when people complain or pretend to complain they’re ‘soooo busy’ as if that was to give them kudos? I just find it annoying. I love it. I hate it when I’m not busy enough.

2. Childhood pictures. This always gives me such a cheer! I have one of one of my oldest friends and me in the sea. It’s such a joyous picture. I’m trying to convince her to recreate it next time we see each other.

3. Bang Bang Prawn Stir Fry. So peanut buttery! The picture is from Gousto website. Unfortunately they don’t have the recipe online for some reason but I can assure you it’s very good.

4. Autumn. I don’t like it as much as I love summer but there are a few cool things about it. Like tights. And blankets. And hopes and opportunities.

5. I’m extremely grateful for the outline I’ve done. I don’t know how writers can write novels without it. I mean I know they can, but how? How do they find the determination to keep going without having a rough idea of what’s going to be in the next chapter? 

 

Whales, sea otters and a beergarita

It’s nine pm and it feels like two in the morning. I can’t believe I’m still jet lagged.

1. Whales. We went whale watching and it was so spectacular and humbling. It was a gloriously sunny day and it felt like such a blessing.

2. A beergarita. Tequila, lime and lager.

3. Sea otters. I’d never seen them before. Extremely cute.

4. A dinner of fresh fish. Tuna, salmon and halibut bought from a shop run by a woman so crazy I want her to be my friend for life.

5. When my husband says I can go to bed at nine if I want. If he were one of those people who want to party all night long it would drive me crazy. I’m glad he isn’t.

A woman, a dog and sourdough bread

1. The confidence to slip and fall on your knees in front of everyone and get up with a smile.

2. What if I stopped feeling like an impostor? Here’s a revolutionary thought.

3. A woman who came over to pay me a compliment for no other reason than actually wanting to pay me a compliment.

4. A beautiful service dog that looks like Nana from Peter Pan. His name is Fergus and the owner let me pet him. It was a good day.

5. Good sourdough bread like the one I had at Gulp and Graze.